Travels with M.

~Some critical observations on the state of things in the land of the free~

This post finds me in the mighty US of A. I am visiting family (sister and brother-in-law, hereafter abbreviated as sis. and bil respectively.) I've spent the last couple of days being ferried from state to state, visting friends of my relatives and relatives of their friends. I've also had the opportunity to sample local and multinational cuisine and engage in banter and exchange idiot grins with the locals. Sometimes they do not understand me when I speak, whereupon I resort to the tried and tested method of speaking slowly and loudly. It works. A puzzled look with a "Pliss help me, I am just a stupid tourist" also helps.

I also managed to pick a quarrel with an idiot in a soapbox of a car in Ann Arbour (I was crossing the street, when the stop light had turned red and was blinking (indicating we still had time to cross) when genius comes out of the crossing, looks at us and says "see that red light? It means stop". I helpfully pointed out to old brainiac that it was blinking, when he drove-on, uttering his desire that we perpetuate our line. In any case, it sounded like that. Filled with the spirit of brotherhood, I returned his greeting. My sis., on being briefed about my encounter, later, said I should not engage total strangers in such friendly conversation, as it it could have me facingthe business end of a gun... strange country.) In short, I'vebeen living like an american... Mc'Donalds inclusive.

My observations to date :

1. Not all americans are obese

2. Not all city-downtown areas are safe (detroit.. take a bow)

3. Illinois is flat.

4. Lake is a misnomer for Michigan... it's a bleeding sea!

5. Humans were not bred for the express purpose of sitting in soapboxes and hurtling around the countryside for hours at a stretch. Something went wrong somewhere.

6. Rest areas are a blessing

7. Rest areas are dirty

8. They stink

9. Mc'Donalds and co. do not constitute healthy food. They do not, also, make one healthy but they do make some wealthy and others wise.

10. America has good PR. But, the skeletons in the closet only pop outwhen you have to live here for a long time.

11. Vacations are fun.

In the next post, M. discovers more.